i must simplify

i'm in a writing funk. everything that comes out sounds like shit to me.

my grad loan didn't quite work out how i'd planned, so now i'm $3,000 short for my yearly budget. i desperately need to find employment in chicago. hopefully i can get down there in early july after all this wedding business is over. alicia should have been born one weekend later and i could go to her party.

i miss my sister and we live in the same house. i'm always at missy's with the kids and i catch glimpses of her as she's heading up to bed when i get home or as she's heading out the door when i get up. i want to take her hostage and make her spend all day with me. soon i'll be hundreds of miles away and it won't be an option. i feel the same way about my parents sometimes. i'll be sitting at the table with them at breakfast and they'll eventually get up and go about with their daily plans. i find myself wishing they'd just sit back down and stay for a little while longer.

kevin makes me happy. especially on sunny days. you know you have someone special in your life when you find yourself grinning alone on long car rides. he makes me want to lay in the sun, take deep breaths, and listen to soft music.