i don't have a title

there was a fire downtown tuesday afternoon. i stepped out onto the sidewalk from work at 4:30 and was met by a strong bonfire smell. i started walking towards school and saw the smoke and helicoptors. by the time i got to the corner of wabash and congress, they had closed the street down and the smoke was getting pretty dense. i'd never seen a fire like that. i went up to the 6^th floor at roosevelt and danny and i went out on the fire escape on wabash. you could see the huge flames coming from the top of the building, which was probably around 10 stories high. i had class at 6, but they evacuated us at 7:20 because the building was getting smokey. i stunk like campfire for the rest of the day. the fact that i am living in a big city has finally begun to sunk in.

my craving for change or excitement wasn't quite quenched by the fire, so i left tuesday night for michigan. i stayed with charles and drove over to mount pleasant wednesday afternoon to see anna. seeing her was more like a tease than anything else. driving back after she had to go to class, my tummy hurt. days aren't enough time for the conversations we need to have, let alone an hour and a half. i did get to spend a bit of time with crissy as well, which was a nice surprise. it seems that she plans on marrying her chubby korean boy. i'm genuinely happy that she found herself a good man.

the fact that i haven't been able to write for a while has just been eating away at me. i'm so busy and strung out most of the time, which is the opposite of what i need to be to write. when i get a bit of time to just relax, i have to do laundry, or i want to socialize a bit, or i just want to chill and watch tv with alisha. i'm beginning to feel like a failing artist, which throws everything off balance, because that's my core...that's why i'm here. i've been reading sexton and nersesian, who have been inspiring, but when i sit down to write something...nothing feels good enough for me, nothing wants to be something more. i'm hoping this is just a phase as i settle into my new arrangements here.