i hate being an adult

i decided today not to persue a court reporting certification. i love when i wait until the last minute to make these life changing decisions. nothing ever feels real enough until it's on top of you and then you're like, shit...what am i doing? whenever i told anyone, i always felt blah about it. i'm going into something to do with law where all you do all day is type on a little machine? me...the creative writing major? the poet, the artist, the bookworm? it just always felt off. i doubt i'd enjoy any part of it. but it was a rational, easier, non-dreamer decision and that's the kind of decisions adults make, right?

so i dropped my classes. now my options are continuing my masters at OU in literature or figuring out what else would make me happy without leaving me destitute. if i lived in another state i might be able to find a copy editor or publishing position that i'd enjoy, but i don't. i live in michigan, where spending thousands of dollars on an education in any type of humanities is like burying it in your backyard...pointless.

i'm slightly freaking out about it. a couple minutes ago i was a tad bit more than slightly freaked out, but matt talked me down. tonight i'm going to chill with him and the group (which i'm now dubbing them, because they are basically my friends too at this point and it's awkward to always write all their names out) and tomorrow i will start figuring my life out.

sounds simple enough, right? gah. shoot me now.

oh...my...gosh

i haven't laughed like i did last night for a long time. thank you to my sister and miss mandy maynard. my eyes were watering, i couldn't breathe at one point, and my sides ached.

reason #459 why i love my boyfriend

me: i still don't like workout sweat. i had to get right in the shower...now i'm early
boyfriend: haha, why'd you have to get right in the shower?
me: 'cause i hate being all sweaty
boyfriend: ahh gotcha
me: it grosses me out. i always feel like a big sweaty blob
which of course, is extremely unpleasant
boyfriend: ::chuckles:: are you serious? big sweaty blobs are probably the sexiest thing on the planet ;)
me: you just said big sweaty blobs are sexy. this is entirely impossible.
the word blob alone is the anti-sexy
boyfriend: bah
why do you say that? blob may be considered very pro-sexy
me: in some foreign universe
boyfriend: hey, the king of all cosmos likes blobs
me: he's from the universe of video game
boyfriend: he finds them fascinating
me: hence foreign
oh, they are fascinating, i'll give him that
fascinating in a disturbing, can't look away, oh-my-god ew sort of way
boyfriend: actually, i think he even calls them sexy...i could be mistaken ;)
me: ok, that last statement by me deserves a laugh
please proceed with laughing
boyfriend: ::chuckle:: i've been laughing since we started this conversation
me: ok good
because i'm damn funny
boyfriend: that you are...and it's one of the reasons why i looooooove you :)

yo

result of cranium at ken and bridgett's?

girls rule, boys drool. and kenny apparently lives in a bubble.

weekends

weekends are no longer kick-back/have fun time for me due to work, but i usually still go out and have a little down time.

friday i went with matt after work to nikki and nantais' place where bridgett and ken joined us. the boys played with nantais' new tv, while nikki made us fruity drinks and we put together nick's birthday jacket for saturday. after it was bleached, gemmed, and de-sleeved, it came out pretty fantastic. and surprisingly no one was injured by the combination of alcohol + iron-ons and hot glue.

nikki found some videos of a past new years' party and her wedding. i got to see matt drunkenly embarrass himself and then we watched a bit of the nantais' wedding ceremony. the girl had jones soda on all the tables...how much cooler can you get?

i ended up having a great time as usual. those girls rock!

after work last night, matt and i went to the red ox tavern in rochester for christy's birthday party. it was nice to hang out with her and amy again, since i hadn't seen them both since we went to mainstreet and i left my license there. carla coons attended, which was crazy 'cause i hadn't seen her since graduation. she seems to be doing well and we caught up. it seems like everyone from high school keeps in contact with a few people. it's nice to get the scoop on the ones you haven't heard about in a while.

i'm dreading work tonight. i just don't feel up to it. hopefully it'll pass by fast enough. i would much rather just spend the evening with matt curled up on the couch watching a movie or him play video games and snuggling. we never have days where we both don't work, so there's always that looming work dread hanging over me. i don't even do anything (which is worse than most would imagine) but it's just the fact that i'm required to do something that night that puts everything off. i need to find another normal work schedule job where i get weekends off. i miss that.

i ended up finding the book i thought i lost where everything else i think i lost turns up...my little sister's room. that was actually the last place i looked because ashley is as much a reader as i am a mathematician, but it turned up that she had taken it to honduras with her on the plane and forgot to unpack it. i love her to death, but my stuff always seems to disappear in there; deodorant, jewellery, cds, dvds...never to be found again. so now i'm reading neverwhere by gaiman, which has a much more horror-y feel than any of the other fantasy novels i've read before. i have a feeling matt would really like it, but i won't suggest another book to him until he finishes the harry potter series, which is not coming along very fast since i tend to monopolize most of his down time. i also picked up wuthering heights like i had planned, but that also has a very ghost-y feel as well and i guess i'm just not feeling that so much at the moment. i'm sure i'll get through them though since boredom is not sustainable on just suduko.

other than work though, life has been pretty enjoyable. :)

lalala

my workout was a little easier today, which made me feel good about myself. i'm also trying to drink the 8 glasses of water that you're supposed to, which is surprisingly hard to do. makes you pee a lot. :P

i watched emma this morning, the film version of jane austen's novel. i finished all her books and still wanted more, so i picked up the movie yesterday, along with zodiac, which i realized i'd already seen after the first 5 minutes and felt stupid. my mom watched it though, so it wasn't a waste. emma was good, but gwyneth paltrow didn't really capture the character as well as i had hoped. jennifer ehle did a much better job in the 1^st film version of pride and prejudice. i wasn't a fan of the 2^nd with keira knightly, though i do like her. maybe it's because i really like ehle and i wasn't going to be happy with anyone playing mr. darcy but colin firth. he's like every women's fairytale man, as proved by bridget jone's diary...also another example of the original being much better than the sequel.

now i'm out of books, which probably doesn't seem like any sort of tragedy to anyone else but me, but when you work at a job as boring as mine, there is a mandatory need for good reading. i forgot to take the 1^st of the riftwar series by feist when i left matt's this morning. i'm debating whether i should stop by there and pick it up before work tonight or leave a little earlier and go to borders to pick up wuthering heights by emily bronte, since it'll be a closer link to jane austen.

i write entirely too much about literature. i can't help it, it was my first true love.

love

blah dablah blah blahness

so i'm sick and it's blah. that's my overall current feeling...blah. for a bit of an over-share, all my orifices are in distress. even my eyeballs hurt. ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my drift. i left work yesterday after only an hour. but to my credit, i worked 9 1/2 hours on saturday after vomiting in a trash can. you try feeling crappy with nothing to occupy your mind other than suduko. i'd say i'm a trooper, but i'd be lying.

matt and i have been dating for a month as of last saturday. it feels more like 6 since we haven't gone a day without seeing each other since we first met. (it's amazing that he hasn't gotten sick of me yet!) i gave him a white t-shirt that i wrote "property of tiffany" on the front of with a green fabric pen. i am officially the queen of cheap, handmade boyfriend gifts. he got me flowers and a card in which he wrote probably the sweetest things i've ever read, plus the keys to his apartment so i no longer have to camp out in front of his door and scare the shit out of him. i think he may have really nearly crapped his pants last thursday.

it's amazing to be in a relationship where your significant other feels like your best friend; where you feel like you can honestly tell them anything and they won't cut and run; where when they look at you, you can see exactly what your own heart is feeling in their eyes. the mere scent of him relaxes me. it's a new experience for me to feel that i could actually be necessary to someone; that they miss me when i'm not there; that i'm a part of their happiness as much as they are of mine. i love you baby!

/end mushy ramblings

i work tonight and needless to say, my blahness is not looking forward to it. i don't like being an adult. i wish my mom could call work and tell them i'm too sick to come in, like she did back in elementary school. there's nothing like a note from mom to excuse you from everything. back in the day, didn't it feel like you could drop trousers, take a shit on the playground, and somehow mom could get you out of it? at least my work week from hell is over. after tonight i have 3 days off and i have nothing scheduled other than monopolizing my boyfriend's non-work time. tomorrow i will be spending the evening watching the boys play with matt's gi-normous new television/sound system, hopefully accompanied by bridgett. it'll be much more fun to tease them about their manhood issues with a fellow girlfriend by my side. i talk a lot of shit, but i'm actually a little bit excited about watching katamari on that monster. don't tell anyone.

i think i have officially set my own record concerning the discussion of bodily discharge in this post. with that, i bid everyone a dieu.

post-weekend recap

today my parents are officially no longer married. i'm not really feeling anything but an overall sense of weirdness, since they're still dating and everything.

worked 9-10 hours on both saturday and sunday. ugh. the shifts consisted of reading and playing suduko, with the occasional phone call and potty break. i finished persuasion and am halfway through emma, both by austen. i'm going to have to pick up mansfield park and northanger abbey after my next pay check because i just love her books. next i have a long way down by nick hornby. it was on sale for $4.99 at borders, so i figured i'd pick it up, since i really enjoyed high fidelity. some how i don't see it lasting through the next 9 days in a row that i'm working. but i got today off due to no events being scheduled, so woo!

over the past week or so, i've been watching matt play this japanese game called katamari damacy for playstation 2. this would probably sound boring to 99.9% of girls out there, but i freaking love it. i'll probably try to play it eventually, but just watching is so much fun. it's funny because the game really only consists of rolling up junk into a giant ball in order to make stars, constellations, and planets. it's just hilarious and so entertaining. it's like freaking crack, i swear. plus, the animation is really similiar to the beatles yellow submarine, which you really can't beat. i think i also just like being with matt while doing anything, so that might be part of the attraction as well.

matt's birthday was saturday and we went to dave and busters in utica with a group of friends. i think a fabulous time was had by all. matt got some really awesome homemade presents, plus the man-bag he's been wanting. he picked up some new clothes on sunday to go with it and he's super cute. the girls made him this wicked awesome coat with an iron-on lion head on the back, plus jewels, bells, and dangling beads along the seams. he wore it the entire night and it was hilarious. the group was able to accumulate 5,000+ tickets, but not enough to get the stuffed spiderman that everyone wanted. so instead, though all the boys protested, matt got me the stuffed hippo that i thought was adorable. i named him samwell. my boyfriend is too fantastic to be described in words. a late night taco bell run with ken and bridgett completed a sweet night.

hmm...so that's about it for this update. taking it easy today since i don't have to head over to indianwood tonight and then matt is coming over after he gets off work to chill with me.

questionable content

so my best friend of 4+ years dumped me. i'm assuming it has something to do with my needy personality, but that was really nothing new to her, so i'm not sure what happened all of a sudden. i think it's rather infantile and cowardly to just up and de-friend someone you've been so close and shared so much with over email. i love how people rationalize throwing people out of their lives like old trash just so they can selfishly avoid a guilt trip.

in other news, i've recently become a fan of web comics. i highly recommend everyone read questionable content 'cause it's very enjoyable.

last night matt and i had dinner at stir crazy (yum yum yum) and then saw hairspray, which was hilarious. there is nothing that compares to john travolta in drag dancing around romantically with christopher walken, while both of them sing about their undying love for one another. plus queen latifa rocks my world.

tonight matt and i are having dinner at my dad's place. he's barbequing up some grub for us. should be fun. :)

just needed to share that...

...my boyfriend is the best, most adorable guy alive.