a prayer for owen meany by john irving was a fantastic read. i actually cried at the end. i could relate to a lot of the opinions on religion in the novel.
so many people think that it's easier to just believe in god, believe that everything happens for a reason. that to have faith in something bigger is to be weak, reliant on something/someone else for happiness and comfort rather than on oneself. i don't agree with this at all. to figure out what you believe in based on life and what's inside you is fucking hard. i know a lot of people just say that they believe...and really they believe in nothing. it's just something they were taught...a sort of default acceptance from their upbringing. they try to be honest, good people cause that is what they are supposed to do. i try to be an honest, good, loving person because i know it's the right thing. it's inside me...it's natural...i believe i was made like this. my parents are good people. i'm not saying that they had nothing to do with the way i turned out, but i do believe i did have the choice and sustained the influence of american society towards the negative that everyone else did. i think the majority of people make a choice. there are, of course, acceptions.
i wasn't raised in a religious household. my father calls himself a jew and my mother was raised catholic. it doesn't take a genius to figure out they don't really practice much. it does erase the difficulty of deciding whose family to spend the holidays with though. i don't really feel that i am religious. a more appropriate term in my mind would be spiritual. i connect that term to organized religion, which i have lost faith in over the years. why is it that if someone believes that jesus was the son of god that they must label themselves? and as a quick tangent question...why are their so many christian denominations? wait...i know this one...because man had disagreements and made shit up. i think most people would be confused if i said i believed in jesus but i don't want to label myself a christian. many christians would take it as an insult or approach me negatively. i have come in contact with too many fake people of every religious background to have much faith in the church, ect. i have no problem with people that are highly involved in a specific church, it is simply just not for me. i disagree with too many rules and ideas with each christian denomination to feel comfortable with labeling myself a christian. the word comes with too much baggage (for lack of a better term at the moment). i think it lies within the individual to figure out what they believe in. too many people are programmed and don't explore themselves enough to make a choice. i have more admiration for an atheist who has come to the decision through personal experience than i do for someone who just accepts their religious upbringing.
i make no assumptions about people who do label themselves. each individual is different, therefore each belief/faith/whatever varies. it really bothers me when people have preconceived notions of who a person is by what religion/denomination they say they are. if you don't know the person (and even if you do), don't make assumptions about a label. ask questions. spirituality and faith are interesting topics that will never be exhausted for me. i simply love learning about other people and how they understand and interpret things, what their personal experiences have brought them and what research, if any, they have done to have become who they are. when in a considerably fiesty mood i can talk for hours with people about their beliefs.
people should be less scared and more interested in looking into the hearts of others and discovering new things. so much of humanity is closed off to the unknown. we have such a lack of imagination and faith in what we cannot see and touch when the majority of us have not seen or touched most of what we have rockhard belief in. such a large amount of information that we digest immediately as factual we have not experienced first hand. i refuse to limit myself to what i have seen with my own two eyes because i cannot possibly see and experience everything i wish to in this lifetime. human beings are dishonest and exaggerate. it is in their nature. so i also refuse to believe in everything someone on the television or in the newspaper tells me is truth. creationalism or evolution? don't ask me that...i have no fucking clue. and unless you were there when the whole "beginning-of-the-world" thing happened, you don't either. what my mind and body tells me is truly important for my life is what i will choose to explore and i will try to approach it with a completely open mind and open arms. i will slowly learn truths and falsities throughout my life and hopefully affect each situation, each experience positively. contribute light to darkness, hope to sadness, and be the prompt of many smiles and much laughter.
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